Often when clients first talk to me they say ‘I’m not sure my problems are enough for therapy,’ fearing that they will be wasting their counsellors time, but let me start by saying… Counsellors are always here to support you. There is no magic criteria that you need to meet to be allowed counselling, there is always space for learning more about ourselves. That said, you may find that some agencies have their own criteria that needs to be met, for example they may have a particular type of client they work with (ie eating disorders, abuse survivors, LGBT community) or they may not work with people who are at very high risk to themselves, however there will be someone out there for you.
The very concept of wondering if your problem is ‘bad enough’ makes me wonder if your self worth is low. Perhaps you are comparing yourself to others who ‘have it worse.’ That is a fruitless and never ending game because you will always find someone who appears to be in a worse situation than you and it does not take away from what you are feeling and experiencing right now. Your feelings are valid. A counsellor will not tell you your problems are not sufficient; they will not tell you to just ‘not worry’ about certain things. They will support you through understanding yourself better, learning how to face that anxiety or low mood, they will help you to become more resilient or have greater belief in yourself and your abilities and crucially, understand the value that you have.
It might be that you are wondering if you ‘need therapy’ because someone has told you as much. A family member, friend, loved one has perhaps suggested it might be helpful for you to talk to someone about a particular issue you are facing or something that is triggering from your past. This usually comes from a well-meaning place, but it is important to assess whether you feel ready to have those conversations with someone new. Therapy can be hard work and it only works if you:
a) want to be there
b) feel ready and willing to explore yourself further.
The phrase ‘you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink,’ springs to mind. We are not magicians, we cannot do the work for you, but we can facilitate you exploring the depths of yourself in a safe way.
Perhaps you are worried that your problems are too much for a therapist. Counsellors work within an ethical framework, the BACPs ethical framework includes recognising the limits of proficiency and non maleficence (meaning do no harm). Your counsellors website should give you an idea of the parameters within which they work and if your trauma is significant, it may be that you are looking for a trauma specialist, or a specialist within the field by which you have suffered. Crucially if your counsellor feels that what you have brought to them is more than they can manage or they feel that someone else might be a better fit, they will tell you and help you find the most appropriate person for your needs.
Most counsellors, including myself, offer a short consultation via telephone to discuss whether you might be the right fit for one another, following that there will likely be an assessment session in which your counsellor seeks to understand a little more about your history. These are the perfect opportunity to work out if you and the counsellor may work well together.
So, I cannot answer whether you *need* therapy, but if you feel therapy may help you at any point in your life, then the door is always open. Get in touch on my contact me page for more info.